The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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