i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
