Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
