Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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