Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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