we have officially lost it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
