Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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