So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
