Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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