Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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