if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
