Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I AM VODKA MAN
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
