I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
