so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
