i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
