it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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