I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
