She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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