I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize