Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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