Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
