after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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