i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
