Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
