hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
