I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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