i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
