Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dick very happy bro
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can't talk, ducks in the car
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
