I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Please, let me fuck your mom
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
