Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
