I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
