I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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