she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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