You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
