We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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