4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
