I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
