okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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