he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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