she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
