eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
