So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
