ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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