what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
