Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
