I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
His nipple licking is glorious
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