What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
