Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
