Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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