She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
