whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
