I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
