HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize