Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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