Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
