Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
