Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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