turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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