He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I FOUND THE LEGS
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
