He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
