1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
