I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
