She even gives head with a lisp.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
