he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
