dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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