i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
