omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
