you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
