just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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