From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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