Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
