Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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