Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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