Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
