gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
